I have a trans partner. What do I do?

Transgender people know better than anyone how difficult of a transition this is. The realization that they are trans can be both a terrible shock and a great relief in different ways. Coming out to you is often one of the hardest things they have to do. 

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Know a few things:

• Your partner has realized a truth about themself. It is not an attack on you. Nor does it mean their feelings for you have changed. 

• That your partner has come out to you means that they trust you. 

• They need your support and understanding. 

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Next steps:

• It's natural to be surprised, but don't doubt their earnestness. They are sharing something deeply important that makes them very vulnerable. Listen with empathy. 

• Respect their pronouns and identity. 

• It's perfectly natural to have questions and maintaining healthy communication is vital. Gender-affirming care is very personal so be mindful of their boundaries. Ask if they want feedback or to discuss topics of their care or identity. 

• Educate yourself on transgender lives and challenges so you can be supportive. 

• When you're both ready, maintain regular communication and know that they will rely on you for support. Work together to decide what happens next. 

• Finally, consider your own self-care as well. Supporting them on their journey will be challenging and you both need to take care of yourselves.